(1 Peter 3:8-17)
8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For,
"Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
17It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
Jesus, I pray for resolution, unity, and growth... and I pray that you would have the glory through it all. Rescue us from the snares of the enemy, who seeks to destroy us and to divide us against each other. Give us grace and compassion when dealing with each other, and let us be a functional part of Your body... Amen.
Showing posts with label jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jesus. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A New Faith Coalition
(This was written by Jim Wallis and originally posted on his blog, God's Politics.)
Most elections are just power rearrangements; this one was a transformational moment in our history. A fundamental shift is taking place in America, and we saw the evidence on November 4th. It is a political shift, a cultural and racial shift, a generational shift, and a religious shift.
Most elections are just power rearrangements; this one was a transformational moment in our history. A fundamental shift is taking place in America, and we saw the evidence on November 4th. It is a political shift, a cultural and racial shift, a generational shift, and a religious shift.
The leadership of African-American and Latino Christians along with a new generation of the faithful in white America are ending an age of narrow and divisive religion. This new faith coalition voted for a broad new moral agenda for faith in public life. Racial and economic justice, creation care, peacemaking, and a more consistent ethic life will be the keystones of this growing shift.
This changing face of religion in America gave Barack Obama a 4.4 million voter net gain of Protestants and Catholics over John Kerry and helped lock up key swing states across the country. Real number gains were made among a new generation of white evangelicals. In James Dobson’s home state of Colorado, the percentage of white evangelicals voting for Obama nearly doubled from those voting for Kerry. In Indiana, a state Obama won with little more than 26,000 votes, he picked up over 160,000 white evangelical votes over 2004. In Florida, Christian voters of all stripes swung hard for Obama giving him a net gain of 485,000 Catholic and Protestant voters over 2004. This year it was just about 200,000 votes in Florida that made the difference; in years past it was just a few hundred votes that swung the state.
Further polling results will help to answer the critical question of why religious voters cast their ballots the way they did. But three factors are likely key to understanding the religious shift.
First, the leadership of the African-American and Hispanic churches was more important than ever before in an American election. This time, white evangelicals played a supporting role while it was Christians of color—who are almost all “evangelical” in their theology—who led. The election results reflect a surge of support among black and Latino voters, galvanized by a campaign and a candidate who better spoke to their aspirations and values. Their overwhelming support marks a growing shift within the religious landscape toward marrying social conservatism with a deep commitment to social justice. Recent studies indicate that Latino voters are very pro-life on abortion yet also consider the debate on immigration as a key religious and “life” issue for their community.
Second, a new generation of pastors and students cast a “post-Religious Right ballot” this election. Polls leading up to the election showed a significant break from the previous generation on issues like gay marriage and abortion, which while still a top concern, it is not the only one. For those Christians, sanctity of life now includes poverty, war, genocide, and climate change. Healthy families are also still a top concern, but many Christians don’t see gay and lesbian rights as a primary cause of family breakdown. These religious voters refuse to be distracted by the culture wars of the previous generation. This new generation are not the evangelicals the country is used to seeing and hearing about in the media, and they are already reshaping the future agenda. The break is so stark that several conservative evangelical college newspapers endorsed Obama.
Third, we see a broadening of the agenda with fewer single issue voters. “Pro-life” voters are realizing that their faith calls for a consistent ethic of life from “womb to tomb.” Voters are now judging candidates based on who best addresses all the threats to human life and dignity. And for some, a more pragmatic strategy of serious abortion reduction, rather than a strategy of continuing only to try to make abortion illegal, is appealing. It is becoming a common ground that could break the ideological deadlock of the past 30 years. This consistent ethic of life has caused a significant shift in the political agenda of many Christians by expanding their definition of what it means to be pro-life. They are tired of political pandering to the issue that seems to be more about winning elections than pragmatic solutions.
Christians of color, younger white Christians, “new evangelical” pastors and leaders, and progressive Catholics and Protestants from many denominations are reaching across barriers to change the face of Christianity in this country—and also to engage with allies in other faith communities. They have learned many lessons from the mistakes of the Religious Right and aren’t about to repeat them. And they are not about to become a new “Religious Left.” When asked if they are liberal or conservative, many answer “yes,” depending on the issue. And because they don’t easily fit the political categories of left and right, they could become bridge-builders, bringing a divided nation together on the really big and politically transcendent issues like poverty, human rights, climate change, energy transformation, and the urgency of peace. And isn’t that just what our new president is calling for?
Friday, October 3, 2008
More from Lauren :)
I wish I could explain myself as clearly as Lauren does here. This comment was from a Facebook note, in which a friend of ours (who is a Jesus-follower) asked his friends to state who they were voting for, and give three reasons why they are going to vote for that person. He asked everyone to refrain from name-calling (Palin is stupid, Obama is a terrorist, etc.) and really just honestly address the issues.
Lauren's reply:
And I could not agree more! I was so happy to see this, because people were starting to get into the issue of who has "better morals..." and sometimes it makes me want to start yelling and arguing. Props to Lauren for this calm and clear explanation!! :)
I kind of want to read "Jesus for President..." I've heard a few people, now, say that it's a good and challenging book.
P.S. I am really fed up with these Blogger tags, because for some reason, Jesus is always changed to lowercase!! I don't get it!
Lauren's reply:
I don't think the Republicans or the Dems have got it all right. But I do wish with all my heart that more Christians would see and understand that "moral values" go waaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond abortion and gay marriage. I think it's immoral that millions of people in this country don't have health care. I am in such horrible medical debt because of cancer that was out of my control and I will be for a long time. I think it's immoral that people are paid unfair wages for hard work in this country. I think poverty is immoral. I think corrupt school systems are immoral, especially because I was forced to put up with one all my life. I think war is immoral.
We have a very strong call from Jesus to be peacemakers, to be people of reconciliation, to struggle with the poor and the least of these in our society. I don't think Jesus meant charity, either. I really think He meant taking a stand about changing systems and making things right. There is a strong call from Him to create equality. I also know that God commands us to take of this Earth He created and gave us, not to abuse it however we want.
I don't think the Dems have it all right. I am voting for Obama because I think he is more on the side of the poor and the marginalized of our society and I believe he genuinely wants to create a more just society. I like that he wants to make caring for our environment more of a priority and that he also has a concrete plan for ending a war that should have never happened in the first place. I don't think Obama is our savior, though, and it's scary how much hope people put in him. Jesus is the only one who is going to bring real transformation and He is going to keep using us to bring that change.
And I could not agree more! I was so happy to see this, because people were starting to get into the issue of who has "better morals..." and sometimes it makes me want to start yelling and arguing. Props to Lauren for this calm and clear explanation!! :)
I kind of want to read "Jesus for President..." I've heard a few people, now, say that it's a good and challenging book.
P.S. I am really fed up with these Blogger tags, because for some reason, Jesus is always changed to lowercase!! I don't get it!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Robin loves...
...a good book.
And this one looks to be pretty exceptional-- "The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical."
I actually stumbled across the trailer for the recently released documentary, "The Ordinary Radicals." I googled the title to try to find out more about it, and found that one of the people featured in the documentary wrote this book of a similar name about two years ago.
One glimpse at some of the quotes from this book, and I was hooked. I definitely agree with them, and I'd love to hear more of what this man has to say, and learn about the so-called "radical" ways he lives out his faith.
And this one looks to be pretty exceptional-- "The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical."
I actually stumbled across the trailer for the recently released documentary, "The Ordinary Radicals." I googled the title to try to find out more about it, and found that one of the people featured in the documentary wrote this book of a similar name about two years ago.
One glimpse at some of the quotes from this book, and I was hooked. I definitely agree with them, and I'd love to hear more of what this man has to say, and learn about the so-called "radical" ways he lives out his faith.
“While the ghettos may have their share of violence and crime, the suburbs are the home of the more subtle demonic forces — numbness, complacency, comfort — and it is these that can eat away at our souls.”
“As I’ve heard my old mentor Tony Campolo say, ‘If we were to set out to establish a religion in polar opposition to the Beatitudes Jesus taught, it would look strikingly similar to the pop Christianity that has taken over the airwaves of North America.’”
“We live in a world that wants things bigger and bigger. We want to supersize our fries, sodas, and church buildings. But amid all the supersizing, many of us feel God doing something new, something small and subtle. This thing Jesus called the kingdom of God is emerging across the globe in the most unexpected places, a gentle whisper amid the chaos. Little people with big dreams are reimagining the world.”
Seriously. Does anyone have this book? 'Cause I would love to take it off your hands for a week or so.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Following Jesus means more than just being "nice..."
This is an (abridged) excerpt from an awesome book I'm reading, called Encounter God in the City, by Randy White. He lives in Fresno, California in a community called Lowell. Though the whole book is great, the following part especially moved me because it's SO true...
There is a bumper sticker I see from time to time that says "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention." Somehow, somewhere, it became acceptable-- regarded as inevitable, really-- that in this city, 4 out of 10 children live under the poverty line, that 38 % of the population runs out of their food budget before the end of the month, that we have the worst school system in the state, and that we have an average of 15% unemployment. Not only are so many of us in the church not outraged at these social realities, we have also individualized and internalized our faith making it disengaged from social systems altogether, becoming "privately engaging but socially irrelevant." We have so wrapped our faith in comfort and equated it with niceness that we can't imagine it compelling us to become disturbed (or disturbing). We can't imagine anything allowing us to disrupt our lives, certainly not involvement in the complexities of community transformation.
Our "faith" doesn't require it, though the apostle James reminded us that the truest expression of faith is "to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." Oxford theologian N.T. Wright laments,
Fact is, many of us are embarrassed by people who are so passionate about certain issues that they seem to have no other life. And we are rightly horrified by those who let their passions over issues lead to acts of violence. If that is what outrage leads to, we're happy to carry on our quiet, private lives of faith. We may feel a twinge of guilt or anxiety when faced with the massive urban problems of homelessness, illiteracy, hunger, and substandard housing. But it's like we've made a decision that, since we can't go around constantly outraged, we'll enter an "urban trance." We can deal with our anxiety generated by the homeless and the hungry by simply not focusing on them.
The more positive and proactive cousin of that bumper sticker is from the prophet Amos, who cried out "let justice roll down like waters, / and righteousness like an ever flowing stream." Yet, it is one thing to affirm this majestic command, and quite another to DO it. Only recently have Western evangelical leaders begun to recapture the spirit of the early Christians: that we can wholeheartedly commit ourselves to Christ-motivated social action combined with the proclamation of the gospel without feeling that we are somehow abandoning the "real" gospel for a "social" gospel.
However, this does not mean the practice has trickled down to the church pews, where it is still assumed that Christian growth has to do with primarily internal/attitudinal changes. We hear verses like "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds" (Rom 12:2) and assume the goal is merely a change in thinking. "We are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another" (2 Cor 3:18) is assumed to refer merely to character. We hear "aspire to live quietly, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands (1 Thess 4:11) and take it as permission to live focused solely on our own lives, families, and jobs. Many believers don't like to think of becoming discordant, and can't imagine how to reorganize their lives in order to maximize their efforts toward kingdom transformation.
Transformed people can transform a society. The cycle of experience, reflection, and application can in itself lead to social change. As we engage in the kind of ministry that has the potential to bring transformation to a community, the effect on us is more than a desire for personal growth. In other words, our own transformation makes us avenues for transformation in the city.
After visiting Immokalee yesterday, this passage really seemed very real to me. I am reminded of the churches near Immokalee who donate a Thanksgiving dinner year after year for the farmworkers to eat for free, but yet these church members don't wonder why, though the people of Immokalee work hard labor for 12 hour days, 6-7 days a week, they still can't afford to feed their families. I am reminded of a Christian woman who won't help the homeless in her neighborhood because she sees the same people on her street year after year, but yet though these same homeless people have been around for 6 years, the woman does not know how they became homeless, does not know whether they have families... she doesn't even know their names.
When will Christians in the Western world see that there is more to following Jesus than simply developing character? Yes, character development IS important, but if that's all you get out of a relationship with God, then you are NOT following the Jesus of the Bible! When will the church see that band-aid fixes are not enough?? It is NOT ENOUGH to simply hand out food and clothing! It is our responsibility as people with privilege and an education to use our resources to enact real change! We need to not only feed the hungry, but change the systems that allow hunger to continue year after year. We need to not only hand out charity, but to develop real, loving relationships with those in need!
We need to offer our whole lives to God, and thus offer our whole lives to serving those in need. Yes, saying this scares me. I won't lie. I don't always WANT to give control of my entire life to God. I give this part, and that part, but never all of it. But it really is what is required of us if we want to truly love the poor... and, as Brian Sanders once said, only in loving the poor can we truly love God.
Thanks for reading the whole thing. I know it was long. Comments?
There is a bumper sticker I see from time to time that says "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention." Somehow, somewhere, it became acceptable-- regarded as inevitable, really-- that in this city, 4 out of 10 children live under the poverty line, that 38 % of the population runs out of their food budget before the end of the month, that we have the worst school system in the state, and that we have an average of 15% unemployment. Not only are so many of us in the church not outraged at these social realities, we have also individualized and internalized our faith making it disengaged from social systems altogether, becoming "privately engaging but socially irrelevant." We have so wrapped our faith in comfort and equated it with niceness that we can't imagine it compelling us to become disturbed (or disturbing). We can't imagine anything allowing us to disrupt our lives, certainly not involvement in the complexities of community transformation.
Our "faith" doesn't require it, though the apostle James reminded us that the truest expression of faith is "to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." Oxford theologian N.T. Wright laments,
Plenty of people in the church have made up a "Jesus" for themselves, and have found that this invented character makes few real demands on them. He makes them feel happy from time to time but doesn't challenge them, doesn't suggest that they get up and DO something about the plight of the world. Which is, of course, what the real Jesus had an uncomfortable habit of doing.
Fact is, many of us are embarrassed by people who are so passionate about certain issues that they seem to have no other life. And we are rightly horrified by those who let their passions over issues lead to acts of violence. If that is what outrage leads to, we're happy to carry on our quiet, private lives of faith. We may feel a twinge of guilt or anxiety when faced with the massive urban problems of homelessness, illiteracy, hunger, and substandard housing. But it's like we've made a decision that, since we can't go around constantly outraged, we'll enter an "urban trance." We can deal with our anxiety generated by the homeless and the hungry by simply not focusing on them.
The more positive and proactive cousin of that bumper sticker is from the prophet Amos, who cried out "let justice roll down like waters, / and righteousness like an ever flowing stream." Yet, it is one thing to affirm this majestic command, and quite another to DO it. Only recently have Western evangelical leaders begun to recapture the spirit of the early Christians: that we can wholeheartedly commit ourselves to Christ-motivated social action combined with the proclamation of the gospel without feeling that we are somehow abandoning the "real" gospel for a "social" gospel.
However, this does not mean the practice has trickled down to the church pews, where it is still assumed that Christian growth has to do with primarily internal/attitudinal changes. We hear verses like "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds" (Rom 12:2) and assume the goal is merely a change in thinking. "We are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another" (2 Cor 3:18) is assumed to refer merely to character. We hear "aspire to live quietly, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands (1 Thess 4:11) and take it as permission to live focused solely on our own lives, families, and jobs. Many believers don't like to think of becoming discordant, and can't imagine how to reorganize their lives in order to maximize their efforts toward kingdom transformation.
Transformed people can transform a society. The cycle of experience, reflection, and application can in itself lead to social change. As we engage in the kind of ministry that has the potential to bring transformation to a community, the effect on us is more than a desire for personal growth. In other words, our own transformation makes us avenues for transformation in the city.
After visiting Immokalee yesterday, this passage really seemed very real to me. I am reminded of the churches near Immokalee who donate a Thanksgiving dinner year after year for the farmworkers to eat for free, but yet these church members don't wonder why, though the people of Immokalee work hard labor for 12 hour days, 6-7 days a week, they still can't afford to feed their families. I am reminded of a Christian woman who won't help the homeless in her neighborhood because she sees the same people on her street year after year, but yet though these same homeless people have been around for 6 years, the woman does not know how they became homeless, does not know whether they have families... she doesn't even know their names.
When will Christians in the Western world see that there is more to following Jesus than simply developing character? Yes, character development IS important, but if that's all you get out of a relationship with God, then you are NOT following the Jesus of the Bible! When will the church see that band-aid fixes are not enough?? It is NOT ENOUGH to simply hand out food and clothing! It is our responsibility as people with privilege and an education to use our resources to enact real change! We need to not only feed the hungry, but change the systems that allow hunger to continue year after year. We need to not only hand out charity, but to develop real, loving relationships with those in need!
We need to offer our whole lives to God, and thus offer our whole lives to serving those in need. Yes, saying this scares me. I won't lie. I don't always WANT to give control of my entire life to God. I give this part, and that part, but never all of it. But it really is what is required of us if we want to truly love the poor... and, as Brian Sanders once said, only in loving the poor can we truly love God.
Thanks for reading the whole thing. I know it was long. Comments?
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday...
Me and some peeps from IV are taking a day trip to Immokalee. I can't wait. I've been wanting to go all summer. I'm excited, but nervous too. Some of Lauren's posts about what she's experienced have been very challenging. Especially her most recent one, Bits and Pieces. Man.
I can't wait to get there... but I have a feeling that just one day (actually it's not even a full day there) might be A) Not enough time, or B), Extremely overwhelming. Could you pray that even in our short time there, God could touch our hearts and minds, helping us process what we see and feel? Could you pray that he might help us see this town through His eyes, and help us know how to respond to what we learn?
Thanks. You'll definitely hear how it went from me.
(One more time... can't emphasize it enough... read her blog!)
Love ya. :)
I can't wait to get there... but I have a feeling that just one day (actually it's not even a full day there) might be A) Not enough time, or B), Extremely overwhelming. Could you pray that even in our short time there, God could touch our hearts and minds, helping us process what we see and feel? Could you pray that he might help us see this town through His eyes, and help us know how to respond to what we learn?
Thanks. You'll definitely hear how it went from me.
(One more time... can't emphasize it enough... read her blog!)
Love ya. :)
Monday, July 14, 2008
The Power of God...
This weekend was incredible. I am changed as a result, and I hope the change lasts forever.
My weekend was spent in Ybor Heights. You may be familiar with the area. If not, you've probably driven past it on the way to Busch Gardens or something. When you're traveling north on 275, just after you pass the I-4 overpass, look to your right. See those houses? Off of Nebraska, MLK, Floribraska? That's where we were.
Part of the weekend was spent in small groups. In each group, there was a leader from the Underground Church, and a homeless or ex-homeless mentor. They were our guides through the city, and were there to tell us what it's really like to live on the streets. Our mentor/guide, Danny, was absolutely amazing. He used to work for gangsters in New York in the organized crime scene. His boss was John Gotti's nephew. Somehow, he came into hard times, and found himself homeless, on drugs, and struggling to survive. A few years ago, he came to Florida and got hooked in with a church who reached out to the homeless... and the rest was history. He says he used to chase after diamond rings, $40,000 cars, and girls... and now he chases after Jesus, and he's never been happier. Every person we passed on the street, he smiled and said hello, and reminded them that they were loved by Jesus.
Part of our tour through the city involved prayer. Sometimes we would stop and talk to people that were on the street, or hanging around on the front porch of their homes. Everyone was so welcoming and eager to talk to us. We asked if they needed prayer for anything, and they would explain situations in their life. We'd pray with them, and just try to express that God cared so much about them. It was really awesome meeting people that way.
I was really impacted by the homeless mentors, however. They were so eager to share their lives with us. Most of them are now Christians, and the hope and joy they expressed was simply astounding. Brian explained it this way. They had seen the bottom, they had seen despair, and they had been saved by Jesus. After that, what is there to fear? Danny, for instance. He told us that there were two separate times he flatlined after a drug OD and was brought back to life in the hospital. He also stole from the gangsters he worked for... not a smart idea if you value your life. He said again and again that logically, he should not be alive. But God saved him, and he owes his very life to him. Eddie, Mike, Charlie, Lloyd, April, Indio, and the people whose names I did not catch-- you have impacted me so much. You have broken down barriers and stereotypes that even I had about the homeless. You have shown me your individuality and your personalities, and taken away much of the fear and nervousness I had about talking to homeless people. I will be forever grateful for how you have changed me.
We felt the power of God so strongly all weekend. Brian's talks were fueled by the raw power and passion of God's heart. There was so much emotion in him as he talked about the children he has met over the years who are stuck in absolute poverty. He was on the verge of crying multiple times, and I've never seen him get like that. But the stories of Rafi in the Philippines, Geraldine in Haiti, Rafael and the street kids in Rio de Janiero, and Telandro, who lived (and tragically died) right here in Ybor Heights, illustrated so clearly the tragedy of poverty, the sin of the Western nations as they ignore it, and the anger of God over this injustice to his beloved children. I can't even express how convicted I felt.
The very heart of Jesus Christ is with the poor and the broken. Luke 18 illustrated this. There are four small stories; read it if you aren't familiar with them. The persistent widow was rich in spirit but poor materially, and the parable indicated that God hears the cries of people like this. The tax collector was rich materially but poor in his broken spirit, and God accepted his humility. The little children were poor in every way possible, and Jesus accepted them and showed that they were especially valued by God. But the rich young ruler... the one who wanted to follow Jesus, and even gave the "right" answers when his knowledge was tested... couldn't bring himself to give up his possessions. He was spiritually rich with a wealth of knowledge of God, and he was obviously materially rich... and it was THIS PERSON of the four who was denied by God! Our God is a God of the poor and broken, and this was made so, so clear to me by the Holy Spirit himself this weekend. I can't even express it.
This weekend re-ignited the passion in my heart for God, and the hope that is found in Jesus alone. Only through him can this broken world be transformed. And if we ignore it's brokenness, we ignore the very things that break God's heart. How, then, does this show that we "love" him??
I don't know exactly how this weekend has changed the course of my life. But I feel that it has. On Sunday, after it was all over, the USF kids ate lunch at Jeremy's house. It was really crowded, but eventually everyone trickled out except for me, Ryan, Nadia, and Jessica R. We sat with Jeremy and just talked about God, about the weekend, and about our four friends who had just decided to follow Jesus after experiencing the conference. I laid there on the floor in his Ybor Heights home, and I felt so perfectly content. I wondered why, and here's what I gathered.
Jeremy doesn't have really anything in excess, materially. I mean, he has a TV and computer, lots of books, and typical household furniture... his kids have toys... but they're not super expensive, and there's not excess. But Jeremy DOES have his amazing wife (who I admire so much), his family, and a passion in his heart to follow God anywhere, and to serve His people the best that he can. This, I believe, is all I will ever need to be truly happy. I dreaded returning to my apartment and all my useless things and obligations. But I know that if I let him, God will lead me where he needs me to go. I trust him. My faith has grown so much...
.
My weekend was spent in Ybor Heights. You may be familiar with the area. If not, you've probably driven past it on the way to Busch Gardens or something. When you're traveling north on 275, just after you pass the I-4 overpass, look to your right. See those houses? Off of Nebraska, MLK, Floribraska? That's where we were.
Part of the weekend was spent in small groups. In each group, there was a leader from the Underground Church, and a homeless or ex-homeless mentor. They were our guides through the city, and were there to tell us what it's really like to live on the streets. Our mentor/guide, Danny, was absolutely amazing. He used to work for gangsters in New York in the organized crime scene. His boss was John Gotti's nephew. Somehow, he came into hard times, and found himself homeless, on drugs, and struggling to survive. A few years ago, he came to Florida and got hooked in with a church who reached out to the homeless... and the rest was history. He says he used to chase after diamond rings, $40,000 cars, and girls... and now he chases after Jesus, and he's never been happier. Every person we passed on the street, he smiled and said hello, and reminded them that they were loved by Jesus.
Part of our tour through the city involved prayer. Sometimes we would stop and talk to people that were on the street, or hanging around on the front porch of their homes. Everyone was so welcoming and eager to talk to us. We asked if they needed prayer for anything, and they would explain situations in their life. We'd pray with them, and just try to express that God cared so much about them. It was really awesome meeting people that way.
I was really impacted by the homeless mentors, however. They were so eager to share their lives with us. Most of them are now Christians, and the hope and joy they expressed was simply astounding. Brian explained it this way. They had seen the bottom, they had seen despair, and they had been saved by Jesus. After that, what is there to fear? Danny, for instance. He told us that there were two separate times he flatlined after a drug OD and was brought back to life in the hospital. He also stole from the gangsters he worked for... not a smart idea if you value your life. He said again and again that logically, he should not be alive. But God saved him, and he owes his very life to him. Eddie, Mike, Charlie, Lloyd, April, Indio, and the people whose names I did not catch-- you have impacted me so much. You have broken down barriers and stereotypes that even I had about the homeless. You have shown me your individuality and your personalities, and taken away much of the fear and nervousness I had about talking to homeless people. I will be forever grateful for how you have changed me.
We felt the power of God so strongly all weekend. Brian's talks were fueled by the raw power and passion of God's heart. There was so much emotion in him as he talked about the children he has met over the years who are stuck in absolute poverty. He was on the verge of crying multiple times, and I've never seen him get like that. But the stories of Rafi in the Philippines, Geraldine in Haiti, Rafael and the street kids in Rio de Janiero, and Telandro, who lived (and tragically died) right here in Ybor Heights, illustrated so clearly the tragedy of poverty, the sin of the Western nations as they ignore it, and the anger of God over this injustice to his beloved children. I can't even express how convicted I felt.
The very heart of Jesus Christ is with the poor and the broken. Luke 18 illustrated this. There are four small stories; read it if you aren't familiar with them. The persistent widow was rich in spirit but poor materially, and the parable indicated that God hears the cries of people like this. The tax collector was rich materially but poor in his broken spirit, and God accepted his humility. The little children were poor in every way possible, and Jesus accepted them and showed that they were especially valued by God. But the rich young ruler... the one who wanted to follow Jesus, and even gave the "right" answers when his knowledge was tested... couldn't bring himself to give up his possessions. He was spiritually rich with a wealth of knowledge of God, and he was obviously materially rich... and it was THIS PERSON of the four who was denied by God! Our God is a God of the poor and broken, and this was made so, so clear to me by the Holy Spirit himself this weekend. I can't even express it.
This weekend re-ignited the passion in my heart for God, and the hope that is found in Jesus alone. Only through him can this broken world be transformed. And if we ignore it's brokenness, we ignore the very things that break God's heart. How, then, does this show that we "love" him??
I don't know exactly how this weekend has changed the course of my life. But I feel that it has. On Sunday, after it was all over, the USF kids ate lunch at Jeremy's house. It was really crowded, but eventually everyone trickled out except for me, Ryan, Nadia, and Jessica R. We sat with Jeremy and just talked about God, about the weekend, and about our four friends who had just decided to follow Jesus after experiencing the conference. I laid there on the floor in his Ybor Heights home, and I felt so perfectly content. I wondered why, and here's what I gathered.
Jeremy doesn't have really anything in excess, materially. I mean, he has a TV and computer, lots of books, and typical household furniture... his kids have toys... but they're not super expensive, and there's not excess. But Jeremy DOES have his amazing wife (who I admire so much), his family, and a passion in his heart to follow God anywhere, and to serve His people the best that he can. This, I believe, is all I will ever need to be truly happy. I dreaded returning to my apartment and all my useless things and obligations. But I know that if I let him, God will lead me where he needs me to go. I trust him. My faith has grown so much...
.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
JJP, coming up!
Jesus, Justice, and Poverty conference this weekend... should be awesome. I hope. I don't really know what to expect, this is the first time IV is doing it. Still excited for it though.
I'll be sleeping outside in/near downtown Tampa (not quite sure where, maybe a park?) for two nights. So will a ton of other people. (Especially when you include in that number the people who sleep outside every night because they don't have a choice... :P )
Pray the cops don't arrest us... from what I understand, the vast majority of the 100 people who signed up chose to sleep outside, so we're probably gonna draw some attention, being such a large group.
Can't wait to see what God has in store for us all.
Anyone want to come?? The registration deadline is way passed, but I could probably pull a couple strings. I mean, what's one more when you already have 100?? Haha.
I'll be sleeping outside in/near downtown Tampa (not quite sure where, maybe a park?) for two nights. So will a ton of other people. (Especially when you include in that number the people who sleep outside every night because they don't have a choice... :P )
Pray the cops don't arrest us... from what I understand, the vast majority of the 100 people who signed up chose to sleep outside, so we're probably gonna draw some attention, being such a large group.
Can't wait to see what God has in store for us all.
Anyone want to come?? The registration deadline is way passed, but I could probably pull a couple strings. I mean, what's one more when you already have 100?? Haha.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
How 'bout them watermelons?
An update from the amazing Lauren, and just in time for the 4th of July!
I STRONGLY urge you to read...
...although your ability to enjoy watermelon may be changed forever.
Do you dare read on??
I STRONGLY urge you to read...
...although your ability to enjoy watermelon may be changed forever.
Do you dare read on??
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
My Church!
...is in the St. Pete Times! That's kind of odd... considering we're the "Underground" and all... but the article is really more about the lifestyle and beliefs of Brian, the guy who started the Underground. Awkward, because I know Brian really doesn't want public attention, since that risks an inflated ego developing, resulting in him relying more on his abilities and charisma than on Jesus. Honestly, he's said that before.
Precautions aside, though, it was cool to read about people I know-- for instance, they quoted Jeremy, one of the InterVarsity staff members at USF. I know Natalya and her garden as well. The slideshow was a nice touch too; Brian's kids are adorable. The writer's style made it all come off as sounding a little more extreme than it really is, I think, but whatever. That's what journalists do, sensationalize things.
Anyway. Wanna meet my community?? :)
Article:
http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article635737.ece
Slideshow:
http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/audio_slideshows/underground/
Precautions aside, though, it was cool to read about people I know-- for instance, they quoted Jeremy, one of the InterVarsity staff members at USF. I know Natalya and her garden as well. The slideshow was a nice touch too; Brian's kids are adorable. The writer's style made it all come off as sounding a little more extreme than it really is, I think, but whatever. That's what journalists do, sensationalize things.
Anyway. Wanna meet my community?? :)
Article:
http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article635737.ece
Slideshow:
http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/audio_slideshows/underground/
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Ugh... the future.
I've been posting some fluff for a while now, but there is some stuff on my mind that I need to sort out. Or attempt to. I would rather just avoid it all, but time continues to pass no matter how much I try to ignore it, and I have to face the fact that if I stay on my current track at USF, I will have a B.S. in Biology less than a year from now. Yikes. (Warning: this may get long.)
I'm feeling more and more certain that research is not the right direction for me to go. It sucks, because I thought I would be really into it, but I guess a lot has changed over the past couple years. Mainly, I've found something even more compelling, interesting, and worthy of my time than the academic world, and it's following Jesus. It feels almost hypocritical of me to say that, because I can't even consistently keep up a daily quiet time with Him, but in my heart I do desire to follow him, and anything less for my life would not be satisfying. I just need to become more disciplined in some areas still.
Some of you know that a while ago I was thinking about nursing. Well, months later, I still am. The topic has come up in some odd ways, and it makes me wonder if it's God trying to point me in that direction, or if I am making something out of nothing. One day I went home, and me and my mom were talking about my future, and I let her know that research is looking less and less attractive. She says to me-- no joke-- "Have you ever thought about nursing?" I was very surprised, because I thought I remembered my mom telling me years ago to NOT be a nurse. Too much paperwork and too few staff makes it really difficult to do your real job-- caring for people. But she told me that she doesn't remember saying that, and nursing is a great job, especially if you want a family. Hmm...
Or how about at Dave and Shannon's wedding, when I was talking to a girl named Naomi (I think), and she asked what my major was. "Biology," I said, "but I'm not quite sure if I'm gonna stick with that right now." She said "Yeah, one of my friends was a Biology major, but she switched to nursing." Hm. I mean, I'm trying not to be superstitious about this or anything, but the fact is, I can't get away from the thought because it keeps popping up. What if. What if.
So what am I struggling with??
Pride.
My pride is a huge problem, because I know I have what it takes to be a doctor. Science comes pretty naturally to me, it even interests me, and if I study properly, I get A's. Period. Some pre-med students struggle with their classes much more than I do, and yet they still push through it and eventually become doctors. For me, yes the classes are challenging, but they also make a lot of sense. So, if I wanted to, I'm sure I could be a doctor.
Now, don't get me wrong here, because like I said, my mom is a nurse, and I definitely have a respect for the profession. But in the real world, doctors are still considered to be "above" nurses. They shouldn't be, I mean, both professions are essential to hospitals and such running smoothly. But the reality is, doctors get their own private dining room in hospitals. They have more pay. More respect. And sometimes, it goes to their head. Some of them will automatically consider themselves smarter than a nurse. More capable. Just "better," overall. It shouldn't be that way, but this is an imperfect world, and it happens a lot.
Would I be able to deal with that? Knowing that I AM smart. I AM capable. I CAN make critical decisions... but still being viewed as "less." Less educated. Less driven. Less independent. Whatever. It happens all the time. Many people assume that if you CAN become a doctor, than you WILL become a doctor, and if you're not an M.D., it's because you didn't make the cut. You had to settle for "less."
Besides that, I still am not sure if I truly am called to nursing. It's a demanding profession, and if it's not a passion of mine, I'm afraid I won't be able to stick with it, and I won't be satisfied. Yes it's a difficult job at times, but my mom does really enjoy caring for people. I just wonder if I would truly enjoy nursing. I think I could. But I'm just not sure...
I read this the other day, and it really made me think:
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
(Philippians 2:5-8)
Jesus WAS God. He wasn't "capable of becoming God..." He WAS God. And yet, he still took a lower place. He still became a lowly human, even though he was capable of such incomprehensible greatness. He made himself nothing, a servant. And therefore, the passage continues, God exalted him to the highest place.
It definitely applies to this situation, I think. Yes, I am capable of being a doctor (though I don't want to go to medical school). I have that ability. But that in itself is not enough reason to keep me from making myself "lower" (at least in the eyes of the world) and choosing a more humbling path. Less notoriety, more quiet service. Of course, just because it applies doesn't mean that I now have to be a nurse... but it is something to remember.
My pride is distracting me from discerning whether or not I am actually called to nursing, and I guess that's just something me and God will have to keep working on.
In the back of my mind, though, I have this image... of me and my mom, years down the line, on a medical mission trip together, as nurses. We've traveled to a country very different from our own. I have an image of her seeing, with her own eyes, how ordinary people can bring the love of God. I picture my mom actually seeing the one true God at work transforming the lives around her, and maybe even her own. I picture her seeing that following Jesus is so much more than singing songs on Sundays and giving away 10% of your money. God is REAL. God is LOVE. Only HE can heal this broken world.
That image won't die... it grows, and becomes more clearer and more exciting every time I think about it. Through God, all things are possible. Jesus, I just want to follow you. Show me the way.
I'm feeling more and more certain that research is not the right direction for me to go. It sucks, because I thought I would be really into it, but I guess a lot has changed over the past couple years. Mainly, I've found something even more compelling, interesting, and worthy of my time than the academic world, and it's following Jesus. It feels almost hypocritical of me to say that, because I can't even consistently keep up a daily quiet time with Him, but in my heart I do desire to follow him, and anything less for my life would not be satisfying. I just need to become more disciplined in some areas still.
Some of you know that a while ago I was thinking about nursing. Well, months later, I still am. The topic has come up in some odd ways, and it makes me wonder if it's God trying to point me in that direction, or if I am making something out of nothing. One day I went home, and me and my mom were talking about my future, and I let her know that research is looking less and less attractive. She says to me-- no joke-- "Have you ever thought about nursing?" I was very surprised, because I thought I remembered my mom telling me years ago to NOT be a nurse. Too much paperwork and too few staff makes it really difficult to do your real job-- caring for people. But she told me that she doesn't remember saying that, and nursing is a great job, especially if you want a family. Hmm...
Or how about at Dave and Shannon's wedding, when I was talking to a girl named Naomi (I think), and she asked what my major was. "Biology," I said, "but I'm not quite sure if I'm gonna stick with that right now." She said "Yeah, one of my friends was a Biology major, but she switched to nursing." Hm. I mean, I'm trying not to be superstitious about this or anything, but the fact is, I can't get away from the thought because it keeps popping up. What if. What if.
So what am I struggling with??
Pride.
My pride is a huge problem, because I know I have what it takes to be a doctor. Science comes pretty naturally to me, it even interests me, and if I study properly, I get A's. Period. Some pre-med students struggle with their classes much more than I do, and yet they still push through it and eventually become doctors. For me, yes the classes are challenging, but they also make a lot of sense. So, if I wanted to, I'm sure I could be a doctor.
Now, don't get me wrong here, because like I said, my mom is a nurse, and I definitely have a respect for the profession. But in the real world, doctors are still considered to be "above" nurses. They shouldn't be, I mean, both professions are essential to hospitals and such running smoothly. But the reality is, doctors get their own private dining room in hospitals. They have more pay. More respect. And sometimes, it goes to their head. Some of them will automatically consider themselves smarter than a nurse. More capable. Just "better," overall. It shouldn't be that way, but this is an imperfect world, and it happens a lot.
Would I be able to deal with that? Knowing that I AM smart. I AM capable. I CAN make critical decisions... but still being viewed as "less." Less educated. Less driven. Less independent. Whatever. It happens all the time. Many people assume that if you CAN become a doctor, than you WILL become a doctor, and if you're not an M.D., it's because you didn't make the cut. You had to settle for "less."
Besides that, I still am not sure if I truly am called to nursing. It's a demanding profession, and if it's not a passion of mine, I'm afraid I won't be able to stick with it, and I won't be satisfied. Yes it's a difficult job at times, but my mom does really enjoy caring for people. I just wonder if I would truly enjoy nursing. I think I could. But I'm just not sure...
I read this the other day, and it really made me think:
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
(Philippians 2:5-8)
Jesus WAS God. He wasn't "capable of becoming God..." He WAS God. And yet, he still took a lower place. He still became a lowly human, even though he was capable of such incomprehensible greatness. He made himself nothing, a servant. And therefore, the passage continues, God exalted him to the highest place.
It definitely applies to this situation, I think. Yes, I am capable of being a doctor (though I don't want to go to medical school). I have that ability. But that in itself is not enough reason to keep me from making myself "lower" (at least in the eyes of the world) and choosing a more humbling path. Less notoriety, more quiet service. Of course, just because it applies doesn't mean that I now have to be a nurse... but it is something to remember.
My pride is distracting me from discerning whether or not I am actually called to nursing, and I guess that's just something me and God will have to keep working on.
In the back of my mind, though, I have this image... of me and my mom, years down the line, on a medical mission trip together, as nurses. We've traveled to a country very different from our own. I have an image of her seeing, with her own eyes, how ordinary people can bring the love of God. I picture my mom actually seeing the one true God at work transforming the lives around her, and maybe even her own. I picture her seeing that following Jesus is so much more than singing songs on Sundays and giving away 10% of your money. God is REAL. God is LOVE. Only HE can heal this broken world.
That image won't die... it grows, and becomes more clearer and more exciting every time I think about it. Through God, all things are possible. Jesus, I just want to follow you. Show me the way.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Reflections...
(This might be a little long. But it is an awesome example of God's great power, and also His great love!)
The highlight of Chapter Camp this year:
Josh.
Josh was Ryan's roommate in the dorms this school year. He was curious about God, he liked Jesus, but he was never ready to truly give his life to God. He was afraid. He didn't want to lose control. So many times, he came SO close... and then ran away from God once again.
We really wanted him to come to Chapter Camp, so he could have some space to truly consider God without distraction. We wanted him to come so badly, that Jeremy was able to find a donor to give him a full scholarship! (A huge THANK YOU goes out to that person, whoever you are!!)
So we arrived at Chapter Camp. Josh immediately became sick. Literally, he came down with some bug and was throwing up with a fever. I felt really bad for him. We all did. And the worst thing was, he was missing out on camp. He missed the first two days!! And the part that sucked the MOST of all: He missed the extended prayer/worship night. He missed a powerful talk on how God is the perfect father, and not the same as our earthly fathers. Some people have broken relationships with their fathers, so to call God a father... well, it doesn't really mean much if a person's only experience with a father is being let down by one. But God is the perfect father who loves you and never lets you down... and someone who needed to hear this message so badly was sick and asleep in his bed. Josh has some issues with his family, and issues with trusting God. We knew he would have been really moved by the talk.
That night, a student from UCF decided to give his life to Jesus. We knew exactly what had happened, because all the students began crowding around this one kid in the middle, and praying. Then, suddenly, they all burst into applause, and everyone started hugging. It was a beautiful sight, but at the same time, my heart broke for Josh. I felt so defeated. The song we were singing right then was called "You Overcame."
Savior, worthy of honor and glory,
Worthy of all our praise,
You overcame.
Jesus, awesome in power forever,
Awesome and great is Your name,
You overcame.
As I was singing, I began praying so so hard for Josh. I prayed that God would overcome all the obstacles that were in Josh's path. His sickness, his doubts, his fears... everything. I prayed with such desperation... which is kind of funny, because when I Googled those lyrics, the results said the song was by Desperation Band. Weird.
Fast forward to the next day. Josh was finally feeling better, and was able to fully participate in camp. That evening, the talk was about things that hold us back from trusting God. It was good, and when it was about over, Stacy came up on stage to close us out for the night, but as she started talking, she paused. She then said that she didn't want to rush us out if the Lord was moving in us, and she asked us to just spend a few minutes praying, and if anyone needed someone to talk to, find someone and pray together.
Ryan was immediately called away when Greg asked him to pray. This left me sitting by Josh. I looked at him, he looked at me. He mumbled, "I need to do this." I said, "Do what, Josh?" He looked nervous. He said, "I need to put a stone in the water." (In part of the room, there was a cross, and in front of it was chalk, stones, and a bowl of water... if you wanted to, you could write something on a stone and put it in the water, washing the stone clean as a symbol of what you are giving up to God.) I said "Okay, well let's go!" And we walked up to the cross.
He sat on the ground. He wrote "CONTROL" on a stone, and sat there with it in his hand. He looked so nervous. I asked if I could pray for him, and he said okay. I don't even know what I prayed. I was internally freaking out. I was terrified. I had a feeling what was happening, and I didn't want to mess it up. We prayed, and he dropped the stone, and a huge smile came over his face. He told me he felt so happy. He felt so relieved. He had been so scared of giving control of his life to God, but now a weight felt as if it had been lifted off his shoulders. I said "What does this mean Josh? Are you ready do do this, for real?" He said "No... I need to forgive my mom..." I told him that he doesn't need to become perfect before he comes to God. In fact, God could help him have compassion and forgiveness for his mom. He smiled again, I think he started laughing even, and crying too.
At this point, Ryan came over. The three of us talked. Mostly Ryan and Josh, I was too scared to say anything. And I think that was "the moment," when he truly decided to follow Jesus. I wasn't sure what was happening. But then Jeremy came over, and started praying. Then Josh H. came, and then Gus, and Jordan, and Heather, and Theresa, and more and more, and we were all crowding around him, and Jeremy was praying and we all had our hands on Josh and each other. And then we started clapping, and then we all began to hug Josh and each other... and I started crying. Just the night before, I was so desperate for Josh to come to the Lord... and 24 hours later, it happened right in front of my eyes, just as I had hoped. It was beautiful. I was so blown away! I can't even begin to describe it.
God is amazing. He is so faithful, and He overcame!! I come from a family of non-Christians, and a lot of my friends don't follow Jesus either. Sometimes I lose hope, and I fear that they will never know God. But then Josh... the first time a person who I knew and cared about decided to follow Jesus. And the fact that I was able to play some small part in God's plan... I am so honored and so thankful. Thank you.
Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made US alive with Christ!! (from Ephesians 2)
I am still amazed. More to come soon.
The highlight of Chapter Camp this year:
Josh.
Josh was Ryan's roommate in the dorms this school year. He was curious about God, he liked Jesus, but he was never ready to truly give his life to God. He was afraid. He didn't want to lose control. So many times, he came SO close... and then ran away from God once again.
We really wanted him to come to Chapter Camp, so he could have some space to truly consider God without distraction. We wanted him to come so badly, that Jeremy was able to find a donor to give him a full scholarship! (A huge THANK YOU goes out to that person, whoever you are!!)
So we arrived at Chapter Camp. Josh immediately became sick. Literally, he came down with some bug and was throwing up with a fever. I felt really bad for him. We all did. And the worst thing was, he was missing out on camp. He missed the first two days!! And the part that sucked the MOST of all: He missed the extended prayer/worship night. He missed a powerful talk on how God is the perfect father, and not the same as our earthly fathers. Some people have broken relationships with their fathers, so to call God a father... well, it doesn't really mean much if a person's only experience with a father is being let down by one. But God is the perfect father who loves you and never lets you down... and someone who needed to hear this message so badly was sick and asleep in his bed. Josh has some issues with his family, and issues with trusting God. We knew he would have been really moved by the talk.
That night, a student from UCF decided to give his life to Jesus. We knew exactly what had happened, because all the students began crowding around this one kid in the middle, and praying. Then, suddenly, they all burst into applause, and everyone started hugging. It was a beautiful sight, but at the same time, my heart broke for Josh. I felt so defeated. The song we were singing right then was called "You Overcame."
Savior, worthy of honor and glory,
Worthy of all our praise,
You overcame.
Jesus, awesome in power forever,
Awesome and great is Your name,
You overcame.
As I was singing, I began praying so so hard for Josh. I prayed that God would overcome all the obstacles that were in Josh's path. His sickness, his doubts, his fears... everything. I prayed with such desperation... which is kind of funny, because when I Googled those lyrics, the results said the song was by Desperation Band. Weird.
Fast forward to the next day. Josh was finally feeling better, and was able to fully participate in camp. That evening, the talk was about things that hold us back from trusting God. It was good, and when it was about over, Stacy came up on stage to close us out for the night, but as she started talking, she paused. She then said that she didn't want to rush us out if the Lord was moving in us, and she asked us to just spend a few minutes praying, and if anyone needed someone to talk to, find someone and pray together.
Ryan was immediately called away when Greg asked him to pray. This left me sitting by Josh. I looked at him, he looked at me. He mumbled, "I need to do this." I said, "Do what, Josh?" He looked nervous. He said, "I need to put a stone in the water." (In part of the room, there was a cross, and in front of it was chalk, stones, and a bowl of water... if you wanted to, you could write something on a stone and put it in the water, washing the stone clean as a symbol of what you are giving up to God.) I said "Okay, well let's go!" And we walked up to the cross.
He sat on the ground. He wrote "CONTROL" on a stone, and sat there with it in his hand. He looked so nervous. I asked if I could pray for him, and he said okay. I don't even know what I prayed. I was internally freaking out. I was terrified. I had a feeling what was happening, and I didn't want to mess it up. We prayed, and he dropped the stone, and a huge smile came over his face. He told me he felt so happy. He felt so relieved. He had been so scared of giving control of his life to God, but now a weight felt as if it had been lifted off his shoulders. I said "What does this mean Josh? Are you ready do do this, for real?" He said "No... I need to forgive my mom..." I told him that he doesn't need to become perfect before he comes to God. In fact, God could help him have compassion and forgiveness for his mom. He smiled again, I think he started laughing even, and crying too.
At this point, Ryan came over. The three of us talked. Mostly Ryan and Josh, I was too scared to say anything. And I think that was "the moment," when he truly decided to follow Jesus. I wasn't sure what was happening. But then Jeremy came over, and started praying. Then Josh H. came, and then Gus, and Jordan, and Heather, and Theresa, and more and more, and we were all crowding around him, and Jeremy was praying and we all had our hands on Josh and each other. And then we started clapping, and then we all began to hug Josh and each other... and I started crying. Just the night before, I was so desperate for Josh to come to the Lord... and 24 hours later, it happened right in front of my eyes, just as I had hoped. It was beautiful. I was so blown away! I can't even begin to describe it.
God is amazing. He is so faithful, and He overcame!! I come from a family of non-Christians, and a lot of my friends don't follow Jesus either. Sometimes I lose hope, and I fear that they will never know God. But then Josh... the first time a person who I knew and cared about decided to follow Jesus. And the fact that I was able to play some small part in God's plan... I am so honored and so thankful. Thank you.
Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made US alive with Christ!! (from Ephesians 2)
I am still amazed. More to come soon.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I suck.
I've come to the realization that generally, I suck.
I truly cannot get anything done. I have this effing lab report due in 32 hours... and yeah, it's started, but I've suddenly lost my motivation. Haven't done much on it today at all. It's just so TEDIOUS... so dull...
Which leaves me to wonder why I'm in my major.
I don't really enjoy working in the lab, either... I mean, it's not terrible, and the grad students are fun to hang out with. BUT can I picture myself doing this... forever?? I get a feeling of dread in my stomach just thinking about doing this for the next 5 years (or whatever) in grad school. Conducting research is just such a time commitment if you want to do it right, you know? And if you don't want to take the time to do it right, then why do it at all?
So, this brings up a question-- is research the right choice for me?
Lately, the things that make me still want to be a professor (what I've been planning on for a few years, now) have changed... and they are all things that don't really have to do with being a professor, but more with the perks of professor life. Such as:
Freedom to travel
-I'd love to be able to visit Mexico and other places for missions, and maybe even bring students
Freedom to take time off
-ok, kind of the same thing (travel), but also so that I'm able to raise a family, something I really want
Extra money
-to fund traveling... and also to maybe start some sort of mentoring program for underprivileged kids. Maybe something to do with science... to sort of give them a fun way to learn about something they may not have been exposed to, and also offering resources and a connection to the University system. I dunno, just an idea I had one day...
Support for Christian campus groups
-every campus group needs a faculty advisor. Having a Jesus-following professor willing to serve that role is just one less thing for campus ministries to worry about, leaving them time to do what they do best-- care for students.
So, all these perks are pretty cool. BUT in the midst of doing all those awesome things that the professor life would allow me to do, I'd have to be teaching (not terrible, though not my #1 passion) and producing significant research for the University (uh.... yikes). Also, with the recent budget cuts in Florida schools, theres a hiring freeze on at any school I'd be interested in... would that still apply in a few years? How easy is it to get a job, anyway? (I sure as heck don't wanna leave FL, you know...)
Blah. So a few other options have popped into my head recently--
Photography (fun, but let's be honest, probably not realistic)
Nursing (...)
...did she say NURSING? The girl whose mother told her since she was a little girl "be anything you want, but don't be a nurse"?? The girl who was so afraid of having to touch patients, she decided against medical school? Yeah. Weird idea. Just came up all of a sudden... still trying to discern whether that was God speaking, or just my wandering mind.
I really should pray about all this a little more. BUT my suckiness doesn't end with academics... I also don't read my Bible much, and I sure don't pray enough. Kind of makes it hard to hear God speaking if I can't even identify his voice, wouldn't ya say?
I don't know what my problem is. The funny thing is, God answers my prayers. Clearly. Over spring break, when I was on my trip with Volunteer USF, I was SO in touch with God. I prayed all the time, and I was super conscious about loving the other people in my group and asking God for opportunities to minister to them... and he provided! He really did! So, why on earth is it such a hassle for me to get myself to pray?? It's like, I get really fired up for God sometimes, like all I want to do is be with him and talk to him. And then sometimes (more often, sadly), I think "you know, I should really spend some time with God..." and I shrug and go back to watching some stupid YouTube videos or something.
I am suffering from a serious case of apathy... and I feel too apathetic to really do anything about it.
I truly cannot get anything done. I have this effing lab report due in 32 hours... and yeah, it's started, but I've suddenly lost my motivation. Haven't done much on it today at all. It's just so TEDIOUS... so dull...
Which leaves me to wonder why I'm in my major.
I don't really enjoy working in the lab, either... I mean, it's not terrible, and the grad students are fun to hang out with. BUT can I picture myself doing this... forever?? I get a feeling of dread in my stomach just thinking about doing this for the next 5 years (or whatever) in grad school. Conducting research is just such a time commitment if you want to do it right, you know? And if you don't want to take the time to do it right, then why do it at all?
So, this brings up a question-- is research the right choice for me?
Lately, the things that make me still want to be a professor (what I've been planning on for a few years, now) have changed... and they are all things that don't really have to do with being a professor, but more with the perks of professor life. Such as:
Freedom to travel
-I'd love to be able to visit Mexico and other places for missions, and maybe even bring students
Freedom to take time off
-ok, kind of the same thing (travel), but also so that I'm able to raise a family, something I really want
Extra money
-to fund traveling... and also to maybe start some sort of mentoring program for underprivileged kids. Maybe something to do with science... to sort of give them a fun way to learn about something they may not have been exposed to, and also offering resources and a connection to the University system. I dunno, just an idea I had one day...
Support for Christian campus groups
-every campus group needs a faculty advisor. Having a Jesus-following professor willing to serve that role is just one less thing for campus ministries to worry about, leaving them time to do what they do best-- care for students.
So, all these perks are pretty cool. BUT in the midst of doing all those awesome things that the professor life would allow me to do, I'd have to be teaching (not terrible, though not my #1 passion) and producing significant research for the University (uh.... yikes). Also, with the recent budget cuts in Florida schools, theres a hiring freeze on at any school I'd be interested in... would that still apply in a few years? How easy is it to get a job, anyway? (I sure as heck don't wanna leave FL, you know...)
Blah. So a few other options have popped into my head recently--
Photography (fun, but let's be honest, probably not realistic)
Nursing (...)
...did she say NURSING? The girl whose mother told her since she was a little girl "be anything you want, but don't be a nurse"?? The girl who was so afraid of having to touch patients, she decided against medical school? Yeah. Weird idea. Just came up all of a sudden... still trying to discern whether that was God speaking, or just my wandering mind.
I really should pray about all this a little more. BUT my suckiness doesn't end with academics... I also don't read my Bible much, and I sure don't pray enough. Kind of makes it hard to hear God speaking if I can't even identify his voice, wouldn't ya say?
I don't know what my problem is. The funny thing is, God answers my prayers. Clearly. Over spring break, when I was on my trip with Volunteer USF, I was SO in touch with God. I prayed all the time, and I was super conscious about loving the other people in my group and asking God for opportunities to minister to them... and he provided! He really did! So, why on earth is it such a hassle for me to get myself to pray?? It's like, I get really fired up for God sometimes, like all I want to do is be with him and talk to him. And then sometimes (more often, sadly), I think "you know, I should really spend some time with God..." and I shrug and go back to watching some stupid YouTube videos or something.
I am suffering from a serious case of apathy... and I feel too apathetic to really do anything about it.
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