Reflections...

(This might be a little long. But it is an awesome example of God's great power, and also His great love!)

The highlight of Chapter Camp this year:
Josh.

Josh was Ryan's roommate in the dorms this school year. He was curious about God, he liked Jesus, but he was never ready to truly give his life to God. He was afraid. He didn't want to lose control. So many times, he came SO close... and then ran away from God once again.

We really wanted him to come to Chapter Camp, so he could have some space to truly consider God without distraction. We wanted him to come so badly, that Jeremy was able to find a donor to give him a full scholarship! (A huge THANK YOU goes out to that person, whoever you are!!)

So we arrived at Chapter Camp. Josh immediately became sick. Literally, he came down with some bug and was throwing up with a fever. I felt really bad for him. We all did. And the worst thing was, he was missing out on camp. He missed the first two days!! And the part that sucked the MOST of all: He missed the extended prayer/worship night. He missed a powerful talk on how God is the perfect father, and not the same as our earthly fathers. Some people have broken relationships with their fathers, so to call God a father... well, it doesn't really mean much if a person's only experience with a father is being let down by one. But God is the perfect father who loves you and never lets you down... and someone who needed to hear this message so badly was sick and asleep in his bed. Josh has some issues with his family, and issues with trusting God. We knew he would have been really moved by the talk.

That night, a student from UCF decided to give his life to Jesus. We knew exactly what had happened, because all the students began crowding around this one kid in the middle, and praying. Then, suddenly, they all burst into applause, and everyone started hugging. It was a beautiful sight, but at the same time, my heart broke for Josh. I felt so defeated. The song we were singing right then was called "You Overcame."

Savior, worthy of honor and glory,
Worthy of all our praise,
You overcame.
Jesus, awesome in power forever,
Awesome and great is Your name,
You overcame.

As I was singing, I began praying so so hard for Josh. I prayed that God would overcome all the obstacles that were in Josh's path. His sickness, his doubts, his fears... everything. I prayed with such desperation... which is kind of funny, because when I Googled those lyrics, the results said the song was by Desperation Band. Weird.

Fast forward to the next day. Josh was finally feeling better, and was able to fully participate in camp. That evening, the talk was about things that hold us back from trusting God. It was good, and when it was about over, Stacy came up on stage to close us out for the night, but as she started talking, she paused. She then said that she didn't want to rush us out if the Lord was moving in us, and she asked us to just spend a few minutes praying, and if anyone needed someone to talk to, find someone and pray together.

Ryan was immediately called away when Greg asked him to pray. This left me sitting by Josh. I looked at him, he looked at me. He mumbled, "I need to do this." I said, "Do what, Josh?" He looked nervous. He said, "I need to put a stone in the water." (In part of the room, there was a cross, and in front of it was chalk, stones, and a bowl of water... if you wanted to, you could write something on a stone and put it in the water, washing the stone clean as a symbol of what you are giving up to God.) I said "Okay, well let's go!" And we walked up to the cross.

He sat on the ground. He wrote "CONTROL" on a stone, and sat there with it in his hand. He looked so nervous. I asked if I could pray for him, and he said okay. I don't even know what I prayed. I was internally freaking out. I was terrified. I had a feeling what was happening, and I didn't want to mess it up. We prayed, and he dropped the stone, and a huge smile came over his face. He told me he felt so happy. He felt so relieved. He had been so scared of giving control of his life to God, but now a weight felt as if it had been lifted off his shoulders. I said "What does this mean Josh? Are you ready do do this, for real?" He said "No... I need to forgive my mom..." I told him that he doesn't need to become perfect before he comes to God. In fact, God could help him have compassion and forgiveness for his mom. He smiled again, I think he started laughing even, and crying too.

At this point, Ryan came over. The three of us talked. Mostly Ryan and Josh, I was too scared to say anything. And I think that was "the moment," when he truly decided to follow Jesus. I wasn't sure what was happening. But then Jeremy came over, and started praying. Then Josh H. came, and then Gus, and Jordan, and Heather, and Theresa, and more and more, and we were all crowding around him, and Jeremy was praying and we all had our hands on Josh and each other. And then we started clapping, and then we all began to hug Josh and each other... and I started crying. Just the night before, I was so desperate for Josh to come to the Lord... and 24 hours later, it happened right in front of my eyes, just as I had hoped. It was beautiful. I was so blown away! I can't even begin to describe it.

God is amazing. He is so faithful, and He overcame!! I come from a family of non-Christians, and a lot of my friends don't follow Jesus either. Sometimes I lose hope, and I fear that they will never know God. But then Josh... the first time a person who I knew and cared about decided to follow Jesus. And the fact that I was able to play some small part in God's plan... I am so honored and so thankful. Thank you.

Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made US alive with Christ!! (from Ephesians 2)

I am still amazed. More to come soon.