I want so badly to express what's on my heart...
to create something, a poem, a song, a piece of art
that is passionate, twisted, unique, intriguing, powerful...
something that will grip your mind and whisper into your soul
and let you in on maybe an ounce of what I'm feeling.
Where has my muse gone?? :(
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
How 'bout them watermelons?
An update from the amazing Lauren, and just in time for the 4th of July!
I STRONGLY urge you to read...
...although your ability to enjoy watermelon may be changed forever.
Do you dare read on??
I STRONGLY urge you to read...
...although your ability to enjoy watermelon may be changed forever.
Do you dare read on??
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Return.
and then, in an instant, the panic is gone...
...and I'm back where I need to be.
There are some things I'll never understand.
...and I'm back where I need to be.
There are some things I'll never understand.
Pause.
Sometimes, I just want to RUN.
Disappear for a little while. Not forever. Just a little while...
Because 90% of the time, I feel like I know what I want out of my life (generally), and I'm moving slowly but surely towards my goals.
...but there is this other 10% of the time when I feel trapped. Like I got on a ride that I wasn't prepared for, and it just keeps going and going, and I just want to get off... but I can't get off without hurting myself or breaking the ride. So I just hold on...
Like right now. Right now I want to RUN. I want to BE, with no consequences. I want a vacation from my life... but I want my life to be waiting here, safe and sound and just as I left it when I return to it. And there stands the problem.
"Be still my heart, thou hast known worse than this..."
Disappear for a little while. Not forever. Just a little while...
Because 90% of the time, I feel like I know what I want out of my life (generally), and I'm moving slowly but surely towards my goals.
...but there is this other 10% of the time when I feel trapped. Like I got on a ride that I wasn't prepared for, and it just keeps going and going, and I just want to get off... but I can't get off without hurting myself or breaking the ride. So I just hold on...
Like right now. Right now I want to RUN. I want to BE, with no consequences. I want a vacation from my life... but I want my life to be waiting here, safe and sound and just as I left it when I return to it. And there stands the problem.
"Be still my heart, thou hast known worse than this..."
Saturday, June 28, 2008
A moment of clarity
Sometimes, we are able to catch a glimpse of what could be.
There are moments in which the choices before us show two clear, distinct paths... and we must make a decision.
These are the moments that scare me, because
I see the power I am capable of exerting
I see the mistakes I am capable of making
I see the pain I am capable of causing
I see that even someone with a loving, generous heart can easily be swept away from it all, just for a moment... but where does that moment lead?
Sometimes I put myself in bad situations. This one could have turned out awful. Luckily, everything is okay. All I can say to YOU is I'm sorry. I know... I know better. I'm sorry.
I just need to learn to keep my guard up, sometimes...
There are moments in which the choices before us show two clear, distinct paths... and we must make a decision.
These are the moments that scare me, because
I see the power I am capable of exerting
I see the mistakes I am capable of making
I see the pain I am capable of causing
I see that even someone with a loving, generous heart can easily be swept away from it all, just for a moment... but where does that moment lead?
Sometimes I put myself in bad situations. This one could have turned out awful. Luckily, everything is okay. All I can say to YOU is I'm sorry. I know... I know better. I'm sorry.
I just need to learn to keep my guard up, sometimes...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
My Church!
...is in the St. Pete Times! That's kind of odd... considering we're the "Underground" and all... but the article is really more about the lifestyle and beliefs of Brian, the guy who started the Underground. Awkward, because I know Brian really doesn't want public attention, since that risks an inflated ego developing, resulting in him relying more on his abilities and charisma than on Jesus. Honestly, he's said that before.
Precautions aside, though, it was cool to read about people I know-- for instance, they quoted Jeremy, one of the InterVarsity staff members at USF. I know Natalya and her garden as well. The slideshow was a nice touch too; Brian's kids are adorable. The writer's style made it all come off as sounding a little more extreme than it really is, I think, but whatever. That's what journalists do, sensationalize things.
Anyway. Wanna meet my community?? :)
Article:
http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article635737.ece
Slideshow:
http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/audio_slideshows/underground/
Precautions aside, though, it was cool to read about people I know-- for instance, they quoted Jeremy, one of the InterVarsity staff members at USF. I know Natalya and her garden as well. The slideshow was a nice touch too; Brian's kids are adorable. The writer's style made it all come off as sounding a little more extreme than it really is, I think, but whatever. That's what journalists do, sensationalize things.
Anyway. Wanna meet my community?? :)
Article:
http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article635737.ece
Slideshow:
http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2008/audio_slideshows/underground/
Sunday, June 22, 2008
stand up!!
( This is the same band that does "Handlebars"-- the Flobots. I got this CD for my birthday, and it is FANTASTIC.)
We still don't understand thunder and lightning
Flash back to when we didn't fund the dam
Didn't fund the dam levee? No wonder man,
Now our whole damn city's torn asunder man
Under water but we still don't understand
We see hurricane spills overrun the land
Through gaps you couldn't fill with a 100 tons of sand
No we still don't understand
We've seen planes in the windows of buildings crumbled in
We've seen flames send the chills through London
And we've sent planes to kill them
And some of them were children
But still we crumbling the building
Underfunded but we still don't understand
Under God but we kill like the son of Sam
But if you feel like I feel like about the son of man
We will overcome...
So stand up.
-Flobots, "Stand Up!"
We still don't understand thunder and lightning
Flash back to when we didn't fund the dam
Didn't fund the dam levee? No wonder man,
Now our whole damn city's torn asunder man
Under water but we still don't understand
We see hurricane spills overrun the land
Through gaps you couldn't fill with a 100 tons of sand
No we still don't understand
We've seen planes in the windows of buildings crumbled in
We've seen flames send the chills through London
And we've sent planes to kill them
And some of them were children
But still we crumbling the building
Underfunded but we still don't understand
Under God but we kill like the son of Sam
But if you feel like I feel like about the son of man
We will overcome...
So stand up.
-Flobots, "Stand Up!"
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