Robin loves...

...having a huge weight lifted off of her!

Yep, so I talked to Dr. S, and it went really well. She was really supportive and understanding of my situation. She encouraged me to stay, because of how much work I put in so far, but she said that if I find a thesis in an area that fits my interests better, I should feel free to pursue that, because the thesis is for my benefit and nobody else's. Phew. I am so freaking relieved. Thank you, God, for giving me a professor with a heart!! So I told her I was seeing my other options as far as thesis goes, and I'd let her know my decision soon.

Now comes the task of finding out if my new thesis is realistic. Here's the deal. Last year, I volunteered at an elementary school in the area. At this school, over 90% of the kids are on free or reduced lunch. Many of them come from single-parent homes, and many of the kids have learned English as their second language. You could see how these kids are at a disadvantage when it comes to things such as entering the science fair, for instance. How will they buy the supplies? Who can help them with the project if the parent(s) work late, or maybe aren't fluent in English? What if they don't have a computer? Is it a fair chance for them to compete using a hand-written science display board when everyone else's is typed?

So a teacher at this school, Ms. B (such an awesome person!!), decided to start an optional after school program for the 4th and 5th graders where they could come and work on science fair projects. All the materials would be provided for them, and USF students (that's where I came in) were recruited to be the ones working with the kids, helping them conduct the experiments and construct those lovely 3-fold display boards that we all remember. The goal was to allow these kids the chance to enter the science fair... something that no child at this school has ever done. Ever.

Well, so many kids were interested, that there weren't enough volunteers to help them all individually, or even in partners or small groups. So instead of completing projects that could be entered into the county science fair, we just did class experiments with the kids. They all seemed to have a really good time, and so did I, but I remember being disappointed that still, none of them have had the experience of doing a real science fair project.

Ever since I went to Mexico, I have been really moved to do something to correct the vast inequalities present in our school systems. It is so much harder for kids to succeed when they are from lower socioeconomic classes. Just take a look at north Pinellas county versus south county. Look at the differences in school resources. Books. Computers. Parental involvement. Field trips. Class sizes. And it doesn't get any better in high schools... in fact, it gets worse, because now there are unequal numbers of college prep courses offered. There's failing FCAT scores. There's huge dropout rates. And there's this idea some people hold that the kids bring this upon themselves... that they could do better if they really wanted to, but really it's their fault that they are dropping out.

And that is so messed up.

Yes, there are the "wonderkids" who will blossom and succeed no matter what situations they had to overcome. But the majority of kids, after going through the school system with less chances for success and lower expectations placed on them in the first place, will accept the view that they are bad at school, they will never be good at it, education is just not for them... and they drop out. All of this sort of hit me after going to Mexico and learning that poverty is not chosen, and it affects much more than the amount of money you have. It affects your chances for a future, and it traps generations upon generations into the same destructive patterns. Poverty leaves you without choices, and this fact comes out so clearly within our school systems.

On top of this, add the struggles faced by kids who are also learning English for the first time. In Florida City, when I was volunteering with the children of migrant workers in Centro Campesino, I was just overcome with sadness and compassion for the struggles these kids would face on their journey towards (potential) graduation. These kids were in 1st, 2nd grade, and already some of them were SO behind. So lost at school. Some kids have a hard enough time learning to read and write... now imagine trying to learn to read and write in a language that you can barely speak. Even the kids there who knew English face tough obstacles. Migrant farmworkers are just that-- migrant. Many of these kids change schools frequently, sometimes right smack in the middle of a school year. How hard is it to learn if you are bouncing from place to place and can't stay within one school's curriculum for more than a few months at a time? And how hard is it to find help understanding your homework when your parents are exhausted from doing back-breaking labor all day, and maybe can't even speak English? How will you complete the daily assignment from your teacher to "have your parents read to you for 20 minutes?" I'll tell you how. You'll complete it just like Ariana from Florida City completes it-- "Oh, this part? Just skip it."

Just skip reading. That's what you'll do.

...I've gotten way off topic. But you can see that I have a passion for righting the educational inequalities that are so rampant within the Florida school systems. For my thesis, I want to do this science fair project again with Ms. B, with the original goal. Give these kids the chance to say "I got a trophy at the science fair at my school." That kind of thing means SO much to kids-- believe me, I speak from experience.

When I got a trophy at the Gifted Math Meet in 4th grade, all of a sudden, I decided that I "loved math." In fact, I decided that math was my favorite subject... I mean, I got a trophy! I must be pretty dang good at it! So I wasn't intimidated by the "really hard math" in middle school. And I didn't worry about how hard the high school level Algebra I class would be when I took it in 8th grade. Even though it was hard, I stuck it out, because somewhere back at home, I had my little plastic trophy to remind me that I was "good at math." I could do this. By the time I got to AP Calc in 11th grade (a class most kids at my school took as seniors), I had more than my trophy to convince me that I could get a 5 on my AP exam. Yeah, I knew I would have to work hard for that score, but I never doubted I'd get it. Based on my success all throughout school, I knew I could do it. I truly was good at math. And when AP exams came around, I really did get a 5.

See the difference a trophy can make to a little kid? Sometimes, confidence makes all the difference. I mean, I know I was pretty smart to begin with (and I'm sure even THAT has a lot to do with the nurturing environment I was lucky enough to be raised in)... but I didn't give up when things got tricky. That's a result of confidence in yourself, and that's the kind of thing this program can offer to the kids. It gives them that little idea, sometimes for the first time... maybe school isn't so bad. Maybe I actually like science. Maybe I'll be the first one of my siblings to graduate. Maybe I'll even go to college. Maybe I really can be whatever I want to be...

Yeah. I really hope this idea works. What an awesome thesis... something that actually makes a difference...