Challenged

I was really challenged by Brian's talk/sermon/whatever at the Underground this Sunday. I mean, not that this is anything out of the ordinary, he's always challenging, thought-provoking, etc... but it was almost a similar experience to when he spoke Saturday night at the JJP conference this summer. Come to think about it, the topic was actually related in some ways. Funny that this Sunday's message keeps flying around in my head, though, because I was actually having a hard time focusing. But at some point I guess the Holy Spirit just grabbed me by the nose and said "Look!" and I did... and everything that was said from that point on, I simply can't get out of my head.

It was what he said about sin and evil... it wasn't any new concept (far from it), but somehow it really hit home with me this time. The realization that sin leads to violence, exploitation, utter destruction and death... and how we in the Western church make the struggle against sin so self-centered and inward focused. "Oh I have this problem with lust," or greed, or whatever, and we just play around with it! We focus on repenting, only to ignore it later, and then do it all over again. We get so caught up in our little struggle... not remembering that it is SIN like this that leads to all the evils of the world! SIN that destroys people's entire lives! And we treat it like a little game between us and God?? I don't know. I feel like I'm not explaining this clearly... I can't wait until the sermon gets posted (NOTE: that page is only viewable with Internet Explorer; the page won't fully update with Firefox).

Suffice it to say that I was convicted about ways that I've just been playing around with various sins in my life, and my pattern of "sin and repent, whatever," not taking it too seriously, and not really having any motivation to really change. But making all these connections on Sunday finally made me realize how idiotic I am being, and really inspired me to RUN from sin. To fight it in the name of Jesus, and not mess around playing this stupid game anymore. I'm done with it.

Well. You know what I mean. I'm done being passive about sin... I now see why it matters. I understood with my brain before... but now I truly know in my heart. I pray that my feeling of conviction lasts, because something feels so RIGHT about this attitude, this "new" realization about an age-old battle.