The home stretch...

So in the collegiate world, everyone is beginning to go a little nuts because finals are next week. We're all getting antsy for the semester to end, but also realizing that we really need to buckle down and study this week. A rather unpleasant combo, if you ask me.

I'm no exception. I have just calculated my Cell Bio grade thus far... 89%. Blah. I hate borderline grades. It would take a 113% on the final to get an A in the class... soooooo since there's no extra credit on our exams, I guess I have officially kissed an A goodbye. BUT a 95% will get me an A-. So that's what I'm aiming for. Can you say STRESS!!

Knowing this, I walked into class today at 2 pm and suddenly realized that there was an online quiz due today at noon. Dang, I forgot to do it. That was pretty upsetting. I emailed my professor asking him if I can do it late for less points (anything is better than a zero at this point) but I'm not expecting him to oblige. (He's a nice guy and all, but that's just not how professors roll usually...) It sucks because the Cell Bio lab final was today, and because I was focusing on that, that's why I forgot about the other quiz. Whatever. Excuses. Bottom line is, I may have just erased even an A- out of my future.

So as I said, I was pretty upset. But then the weirdest thing cheered me up... during the lecture, we watched a 2-minute video showing the development of a zebrafish embryo from egg to a few days later. It was freaking awesome to see the head, tail, eyes, vertebrae all of a sudden emerge out of this blobby mess of cells. It reminded me how amazing biology truly is, how perfectly God has created the processes that form us and other creatures of the earth. It made me feel better, seeing so clearly that there is so much more than grades.

I've always had a problem balancing doing a good job in school with making my grades an idol. I've always been a perfectionist, and the slightest slip-up with my grades can truly wreck my day, or even my week. I can't even tell you how many times Jeremy has reminded me that grades are not my lord, Jesus is. It is so true, and I forget it so quickly. I just get so obsessed with getting an A, raising my GPA, achieve achieve achieve, not simply to do well, but to be the BEST. Be PERFECT. It's stressful, and it really does become a form of idolatry. But I was very happy that today, I was able to escape the mindset of beating myself up about not being able to get an A this time. It's okay. I'll still graduate.

I feel a lot better now, and I actually feel rejuvenated and ready to start studying for finals... but not before I spend some time with God to get my attitude straight, and to be reminded of what truly matters. I do NOT serve grades, I do NOT serve academics, or the university system of competing and being better than everyone else. I serve God.

That's all.