A lot has come up within the past 24 hours. It's been a little crazy. I hope everything settles down soon.
I returned to Tampa yesterday afternoon, and my neighbors informed us that a sheriff had been at my door, to deliver some "paperwork." I was like... okay... what the crap could that be?? I'm a very paranoid person, and I don't like the thought of some cop showing up at my door. He'll probably be back today sometime. Ugh. What on earth could he want from me or Theresa??
Then, I got an email that made me start wondering about the state of the Mexico trip. Now, I don't want to start rumors, so let me be clear, nothing that I am worried about has been verified in any way. At all. However, I am really worried that not enough students signed up for the trip. I am just praying that we can still go... even if it costs more per person... I don't care. Whatever. The thought of not going makes me want to just curl into a ball and cry for the duration of the summer.
On a positive note, later that evening, I went to One Voice and it was a really, really great time. The worship was amazing (IV worship team, represent!!), and it was insanely refreshing. The prayer time was awesome too. So, that was good. A welcome break.
I came home and started worrying about Mexico again. So I decided to pray. I literally sat inside my closet and prayed... I've always wanted to do that. My prayer was emotional, and it was rough, but God is good and he gave me a sense of peace about the summer. I will probably pray about this some more, just to continue to prepare myself in case my fears are realized. But when it all comes down to it, I only want to be in Mexico if it is God's will. I hope I can have faith in whatever situation arises that God's will is being done... even if it doesn't look like it on the surface. It's a tough pill to swallow. But I know that God is going to bring me through.
Walking out of my room feeling refreshed and comforted, me and Theresa immediately started fighting about the kitchen. That was dumb. I am convinced that 90% of all roommate drama arises in the kitchen. Neither one of us wanted to back down, which is a recipe for trouble. Ugh. We apologized later, but it was just kinda sucky. We really don't fight much at all... and of course it was on top of an otherwise crappy day, making it even worse.
The cherry on top of that night was my computer crashing. I knew it was going to crash soon, so at least I had a pretty recent copy of my thesis backed up... but dang. It still sucks. Could it not survive another 2 weeks? My thesis is due Friday. Friday!! And my computer is dead!! Perfect timing. I texted 5 friends, and asked them to pray for me... and their responses made me smile. I'm really, really blessed to have such amazing and supportive friends. I was about to cry from the frustration of the night, and it just made me feel a lot better to know they had my back. Thanks guys.
Woke up this morning to a thunderstorm and tornado warning. Whatever, I still needed to go to class... the sign of a science major, lol. Couldn't find my umbrella, but I figured I wouldn't get too terribly soaked just walking from the garage to the computer service center in the bookstore. I got there, a bit rained on, only to find that it had moved... To the library. Nice. That's quite a walk. I arrived there dripping rainwater onto the counter, and left my poor little computer with the guy... then I walked to the OTHER side of campus, to LIF for class. I got to class COMPLETELY soaked. I don't think I would have looked much different if I had jumped into a pool.
I got progressively colder as the class went on... and by the end of class, I was shivering and not concentrating on anything at all. I decided to skip Spanish and come home to change. Which is where I am now... drying off, and eating some soup to warm up a bit. I'm hoping the rain will keep the sheriff away. But whatever. If he comes, he comes... I don't think I'm in trouble. But there's a chance I could get supoenaed or something... which is just a pain.
On the plus side, my computer might be fixed today!! That would make me really happy. Let's hope.
I need a nap. And a hug. And for my thesis to write itself.
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Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
happy.
Today is a good day.
I got a 95 on my presentation for Ecology of Infectious Disease, which is worth 30% of my grade. Sweet! That should put me somewhere around an 89 or 90 overall in that class... an A might just be in reach! Honestly, I don't really care either way... I'm just glad to get that project DONE so I can focus on my thesis! I'd say I'm almost halfway done with that beast... yesss!! Doing the presentation for EID really gave me a lot of confidence about presenting for Thesis Day, too! :)
And my parents gave me $150 after the IV banquet, to use "wherever I see fit." So I'm thinking Mexico!! Hehe. If I put their money towards Mexico, that will be a total of $750 raised so far... I'd only have $450 left, and I haven't even sent out letters yet!! How cool is that? It's also nice to have my parents supporting my trip a LOT more this time around... makes me happy. I never like displeasing them, you know.
Meeting with my thesis director at 3:30 for some final advice... wish me luck!! I just want this thing to be DONE so I can relax! Chapter Camp is gonna be stinkin' amazing this year... all my schoolwork will be over, and I can just focus on God and my friends!! Oh man. I'm so excited.
It feels good to just be so happy. JIA.
P.S. I really want this book! The first chapter is online, and I read it and liked it a lot. :)
.
I got a 95 on my presentation for Ecology of Infectious Disease, which is worth 30% of my grade. Sweet! That should put me somewhere around an 89 or 90 overall in that class... an A might just be in reach! Honestly, I don't really care either way... I'm just glad to get that project DONE so I can focus on my thesis! I'd say I'm almost halfway done with that beast... yesss!! Doing the presentation for EID really gave me a lot of confidence about presenting for Thesis Day, too! :)
And my parents gave me $150 after the IV banquet, to use "wherever I see fit." So I'm thinking Mexico!! Hehe. If I put their money towards Mexico, that will be a total of $750 raised so far... I'd only have $450 left, and I haven't even sent out letters yet!! How cool is that? It's also nice to have my parents supporting my trip a LOT more this time around... makes me happy. I never like displeasing them, you know.
Meeting with my thesis director at 3:30 for some final advice... wish me luck!! I just want this thing to be DONE so I can relax! Chapter Camp is gonna be stinkin' amazing this year... all my schoolwork will be over, and I can just focus on God and my friends!! Oh man. I'm so excited.
It feels good to just be so happy. JIA.
P.S. I really want this book! The first chapter is online, and I read it and liked it a lot. :)
.
Monday, April 6, 2009
relief.
I am SO happy my parents enjoyed the IV senior banquet!! I'll try to sum up my overall banquet experience.
Overall, it was really awesome and powerful and strange, all at the same time. Have you ever seen the movie "Big Fish"? The movie is about this guy, a grown man now, whose father is dying of cancer. All his life, the father has told these insane stories about his past, featuring all these really colorful characters. Well at the end, the son and the dad finally encounter the characters together as the dad is "sent off," and there is this sense of... everyone who matters is here, the characters of the all stories are actually real, and two separate worlds are finally meeting each other. Well, that's how I felt as I entered the banquet with my parents. My IV family met my real family... all of the most important people in my life finally encountered each other after being completely separated before that moment. It was weird. I felt like I was in some sort of dream. It still seems rather surreal that my parents met everyone, especially Jeremy and Jessica. I'm really glad they did, though.
I wonder what my parents thought of my testimony. I was really worried of what they would think, simply because the whole "following Jesus" thing is such a foreign world to them, and I didn't know if they'd understand. I was really afraid of accidentally offending them somehow, and because of this, I was absolutely terrified to speak. Then the moment arrived, and I got up to speak. As I stood at the podium, I became even more petrified as I realized Brian was sitting directly in front of me... lol!! It was kind of funny-- I was worried that my parents wouldn't like the content, even though I knew they would think I spoke well... and I was worried Brian wouldn't think much of my public speaking ability, even though he would definitely appreciate the content. So I kept glancing at Jeremy, Jessica, and Ryan, who I knew would like everything... haha.
Afterwards, everyone said I did well. Personally, I feel like it was one of my all-time worst public speaking experiences, simply because of my extreme nerves... but I heard it described as "powerful" by more than one person. So who knows. My explanation is that God does awesome things with the little that we offer him. :)
The staff always do this thing at the banquet where they say something to each senior in front of the audience, talking about how they've seen us grow, and what unique qualities we've brought to the group... that sort of thing. Jeremy was the staffworker who spoke about me... and he said that he hopes his daughters grow up to be the kind of woman I have become. Wow. That blew my mind. I almost cried, for real.
The staff also gives each senior a book as a gift... and they know my interests and passions so well that I received a book I had already bought for myself at Sonburst-- "Practical Justice: Living Off-Center in a Self-Centered World." Hahaha. I was amused. Maybe someone will trade books with me. :)
My parents kept commenting on what a nice group of people it was. As far as the experience my parents had at the banquet, that's probably the part that made me the happiest of all. I've previously heard them refer to "InterVarsity people" as if the words left a bad taste in their mouth, so to hear such a change in that opinion was really cool. Because, let's face it-- it IS a really nice group of people! The leaders and staff are all extremely genuine and straightforward, and they are sincerely trying to follow Jesus in a true and literal way. I'm just happy that my parents finally see and appreciate that. I hope they understand me a bit better than they did before.
So, that was my overall banquet experience. I'm so glad it went smoothly. I feel really special and appreciated... which is nice. It's a good counter to the insane amounts of stress I'm feeling with this whole "graduating" thing. And it's really encouraging to me when all the people I admire express their confidence in my abilities, and that they are proud of me and happy to know me.
I feel really loved right now. :)
Overall, it was really awesome and powerful and strange, all at the same time. Have you ever seen the movie "Big Fish"? The movie is about this guy, a grown man now, whose father is dying of cancer. All his life, the father has told these insane stories about his past, featuring all these really colorful characters. Well at the end, the son and the dad finally encounter the characters together as the dad is "sent off," and there is this sense of... everyone who matters is here, the characters of the all stories are actually real, and two separate worlds are finally meeting each other. Well, that's how I felt as I entered the banquet with my parents. My IV family met my real family... all of the most important people in my life finally encountered each other after being completely separated before that moment. It was weird. I felt like I was in some sort of dream. It still seems rather surreal that my parents met everyone, especially Jeremy and Jessica. I'm really glad they did, though.
I wonder what my parents thought of my testimony. I was really worried of what they would think, simply because the whole "following Jesus" thing is such a foreign world to them, and I didn't know if they'd understand. I was really afraid of accidentally offending them somehow, and because of this, I was absolutely terrified to speak. Then the moment arrived, and I got up to speak. As I stood at the podium, I became even more petrified as I realized Brian was sitting directly in front of me... lol!! It was kind of funny-- I was worried that my parents wouldn't like the content, even though I knew they would think I spoke well... and I was worried Brian wouldn't think much of my public speaking ability, even though he would definitely appreciate the content. So I kept glancing at Jeremy, Jessica, and Ryan, who I knew would like everything... haha.
Afterwards, everyone said I did well. Personally, I feel like it was one of my all-time worst public speaking experiences, simply because of my extreme nerves... but I heard it described as "powerful" by more than one person. So who knows. My explanation is that God does awesome things with the little that we offer him. :)
The staff always do this thing at the banquet where they say something to each senior in front of the audience, talking about how they've seen us grow, and what unique qualities we've brought to the group... that sort of thing. Jeremy was the staffworker who spoke about me... and he said that he hopes his daughters grow up to be the kind of woman I have become. Wow. That blew my mind. I almost cried, for real.
The staff also gives each senior a book as a gift... and they know my interests and passions so well that I received a book I had already bought for myself at Sonburst-- "Practical Justice: Living Off-Center in a Self-Centered World." Hahaha. I was amused. Maybe someone will trade books with me. :)
My parents kept commenting on what a nice group of people it was. As far as the experience my parents had at the banquet, that's probably the part that made me the happiest of all. I've previously heard them refer to "InterVarsity people" as if the words left a bad taste in their mouth, so to hear such a change in that opinion was really cool. Because, let's face it-- it IS a really nice group of people! The leaders and staff are all extremely genuine and straightforward, and they are sincerely trying to follow Jesus in a true and literal way. I'm just happy that my parents finally see and appreciate that. I hope they understand me a bit better than they did before.
So, that was my overall banquet experience. I'm so glad it went smoothly. I feel really special and appreciated... which is nice. It's a good counter to the insane amounts of stress I'm feeling with this whole "graduating" thing. And it's really encouraging to me when all the people I admire express their confidence in my abilities, and that they are proud of me and happy to know me.
I feel really loved right now. :)
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
500!
$500 for Mexico!!! YESSSSSS, oh how I love the USF Honors college! I know that God will provide for this trip... I have total faith in him. :)
My busted knee from soccer last night suddenly seems to hurt a little less...
AAAAHHHH Mexico!! I'm coming back!!
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My busted knee from soccer last night suddenly seems to hurt a little less...
AAAAHHHH Mexico!! I'm coming back!!
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Walking in space.
All the clouds are cumuloft
Walking in space,
Oh my God, your skin is soft
I love your face
How dare they try to end this beauty?
How dare they try to end this beauty?
...the best song in "Hair." Love it.
.
Walking in space,
Oh my God, your skin is soft
I love your face
How dare they try to end this beauty?
How dare they try to end this beauty?
...the best song in "Hair." Love it.
.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
tally!!
I'm going to Tallahassee tomorrow (well, today) to go to a protest/deliver a petition with Lauren and some other friends from the area!! Woot!! My first time in Tally, and my first big protest!
The protest is Monday, and I was planning on going up and coming home that day with about 14 other people... but now it turns out that a few girls are going Sunday night and staying with a friend (Lauren, Mara, and Kaileen), so I'm going with them too!! I'm so stoked. The protest, the road trip, being somewhere new, and spending time with Lauren, one of my all-time favorite people... This is gonna be so friggin' awesome, and I can't wait!
Just gotta be back in time for my first soccer game on Monday night... but the protest is at 12 in the afternoon, and the game is at 10 pm, so it should be fine. I'll probably ride home with Ryan, so that will offer me a bit more control in getting back to Tampa.
More info about the protest, if you care to know:
General Information
Sign the Petition Online!!
.
The protest is Monday, and I was planning on going up and coming home that day with about 14 other people... but now it turns out that a few girls are going Sunday night and staying with a friend (Lauren, Mara, and Kaileen), so I'm going with them too!! I'm so stoked. The protest, the road trip, being somewhere new, and spending time with Lauren, one of my all-time favorite people... This is gonna be so friggin' awesome, and I can't wait!
Just gotta be back in time for my first soccer game on Monday night... but the protest is at 12 in the afternoon, and the game is at 10 pm, so it should be fine. I'll probably ride home with Ryan, so that will offer me a bit more control in getting back to Tampa.
More info about the protest, if you care to know:
General Information
Sign the Petition Online!!
.
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